The Eve of the Eve of the New Year

December 30, 2018

The Eve of the Eve of the New Year

Is there anyone else out there who detests New Year’s Eve?  Not that getting together with friends and family for a celebration is inherently detestable, but on this one night, the gathering seems a little too forced and most parties are full of strangers who you’ve never seen before and will likely never see again.  

Don’t even think about showing up at one of these shindigs in your ratty gender-neutral jeans and a worn tee without a date and no real career plans because this puts you in the LOSER category like nothing else ever will.  Boom!  The sound of the door slamming, shutting your scruffy self in the cell reserved for people with no ambition, echoes loudly in the minds of the party goers who adhered to the mandate that regardless of the truth this one night you must put on a show for the world. If you don’t, then well…LOSER might as well be tattooed on your forehead.  

Even here deep in the Piney Woods in East Texas, where fashion is often disregarded as nothing more than big city nonsense, we know that on New Year’s Eve, tinsel trumps substance.  Even though we know that tinsel is nothing more than glittery crap (don’t hate the writer, mom, for using one of your most hated words) people put on to mask the flaws in their lives, it is required attire for the event.  If that isn’t bad enough, our ordinary dull lives must be glossed over to make it seem like life (or at least the future) is wide open and wonderful.  

Is it any wonder that we wake up on January 1 feeling whipped and a bit whiney?  

Is it any wonder that on New Year’s Day we find those useless resolutions of change buzzing in our brains like World War II Kamikazes on a bombing raid?  Their rat-a-tat-tat causing our head to feel like it’s going to explode? 

Resolutions fail because change is hard.  We know this.  Yet, year after year we compile a list to rival Letterman’s famous top ten.  Our lists are filled with resolutions that we know will fall by the wayside before January closes the door on the first month of the new year, but we are compelled to make them anyway.  Some of us will even go to the trouble to write them down faithfully, even numbering them from least important to most important, and seal them in envelops marked Open January 1, 2019, as if that will somehow make them impossible to break.  

So, here’s a proposal—proposals are big on New Year’s Eve, you know—let’s take the eve of the eve and make it a real moment.  Gather together with the people you cherish the most and celebrate what these people mean to you.  Immerse yourself in the love and friendship that sustains you throughout the year.  Use this as your amour against the false gaiety that surrounds most New Year’s Eve bashes.  That’s not to say you can’t join in on the “fun” on the final night of the old year, if that’s your thing.  Just keep it real this year.  

One final note from a future old fuddy-duddy: Any celebration that requires adult beverages to bring life to it, is probably full of glittery tinsel worshipers and best avoided to begin with.  

Got no people?  Then, friend, your resolution for this year better be to mend fences and/or make a few real friends.  No one should go through this life alone.  

Happy Eve of the Eve of the New Year 2018.

graphics from Google images and clip art labeled for reuse.

What are the chances?

July 28, 2014

Today, let’s start with a bit of trivia for all of you trivia buffs out there.  DYK that according to mybirthdayninja.com there is a thing called the birthday paradox.  It was news to this blogger.  First, the definition of a paradox that applies here is: a statement that is seemingly opposed to common sense and yet is perhaps true.  Sounds like a losing proposition to these ears, but you, dear reader, can decide for yourself how much sense this birthday paradox makes.  So, you ask, what is this birthday paradox?  It goes something like this: in a group of 23 people, the probability of 2 people in that group being born on the same day of the same month is 50-50. Oddly enough (pun intended—hehe), if you increase the number of people to 70, the probability increases to 99.9%.  But what if you are looking for someone who was born on exactly the same month, day and year as you?  In that case, you need at least 253 in your group, then there is a 50-50 chance of finding your perfect birthday match.  If you up the number to 760 people in your group, then your chances of finding your birthday twin increase to 99.9%.  Interesting.  Might be fun to try out the next time you throw a party. Or not! For those of you who need hard facts and evidence, there is a mathematical equation that lets you figure the odds, but since this blogger left math theory behind at graduation, you’ll need to google that for yourself.  Before we leave the birthday trivia behind, this blogger would be remiss not to mention the fellas at grouchyrabbit.com who compile quotes submitted to their website.  According to their website, birthday paradox or no, it’s a proven fact that people who have more birthdays live longer.  Now you know! 

On to the gossip that you all tune in to read.  The blonde bombshell (BB) has returned to H-town and our own Man of Steel (MOS), DD himself, seems to be plotting something, hopefully not a move to Houston to be closer to BB.  Time will tell, so stay tuned.  This blogger heard a rumor that one of our lovely ladies, let’s call her Princess Leia (PL)--you remember the chick with the ear buns,right--is in the market for a husband and is considering trying a little online dating.  Do you hear the music from Halloween in your head, too?  On-line dating is scary stuff.  It’ll be interesting to see how that goes.  Of course, you will be able to find out all the juicy details right here on this blog, so don’t fret.  When it comes to gossip, this blogger rivals the likes of MH and DT, the gossip mavens of Miller. Speaking of rivals, the grapevine is buzzing now that girl next door number 3 (GND#3) is back in town.  There has been quite a bit of activity at Miss Silivia’s old store, and a lot of it involves the boys next door (BND)--Numero Uno and El Segundo.  GND#3 papered the window so no one can see what is happening inside the store until the Grand Opening.  The oldtimers at The Filling Station (TFS) are a bit perturbed, not that GND#3 cares.  On a side note, the GNDs mamma is in heaven with four of her chickadees back in Miller.  Have you noticed that the honeymooners, FB and SB, have returned, looking tanned and rested, and telling stories of flying above the ocean with visions of sharks filling their heads?

  Sounds a bit over dramatized, but what’s that they say?  Oh yeah?  All the world’s a stage, right William old boy.  DT at the water office is taking bets on how long it will be before FB and SB add to their family.  This blogger has a date, do you? 

Meanwhile, mudders were everywhere last weekend.  They come in droves to enjoy the six mudding parks in our area.  Along with money, they bring noise and a bit of mischief.  Best to avoid areas where they congregate if you have sensitive ears or small children.  Don’t make it personal.  Nuff said.

Like us on Facebook

Follow us on Twitter@miller_texas

#birthdayparadoxinMiller

#AABBandbabymakesthree

#onlinedatinghorrorstories

#grouchyrabbitrocks