68 Feet, 9 Inches — and Counting

August 3, 2015

Hold onto your seeds, Millerites, because this intrepid blogger has a fun fact that is going to make a certain someone in our little berg feel a whole lot less impressive. The Guinness World Record for watermelon seed spitting belongs to one Lee Wheelis of Luling, Texas — home of the Watermelon Thump Festival — who launched a seed a whopping 68 feet, 9 and 1/8 inches in 1989. That is not a misprint. Nearly 69 feet. For those keeping score at home, that is longer than most of us can throw a baseball. Luling is a fur piece from Miller, but apparently not far enough, because the bragging rights around these parts just got a little complicated. In other breaking news, today, August 3rd, happens to be National Watermelon Day. And yes, before anyone asks, the watermelon is technically a berry, not a melon. This blogger will pause while that sinks in.

Now on to the gossip. Miller is gearing up for the annual Seed Spitting Contest, and this year's presiding judge is none other than John Wayne Eaton — stepping in on account of the fact that Jessie Adair is still in Belize. 

The event is open to all ages and divided into six divisions: 0–6, 7–11, 12–16, Women 16+, Men 16+, and Seniors (60+). The Spitway will be laid out on a 15x60 concrete surface. This blogger hears that DT over at the water office has already started a pool on which division produces the upset of the year. This blogger's money is on the 0–6 crowd. Never underestimate a determined six-year-old with a mouthful of seeds and something to prove. A word to the wise: the wind has a vote. If it's blowing, the contest moves. Where the seed ends up is what counts — not where it lands. Rules 1–9 follow Pardeeville's established guidelines, and the seed is free to roll, bounce, scoot, spin, skip, or flip as far as it pleases.

Summer in East Texas is a serious business. Stay hydrated, wear your hat, and for the love of all things holy, do not leave your dog in a hot car. Not even for a minute. Not even with the windows cracked. If you wouldn't sit in a closed car in August heat in your fur coat, neither should your four-legged best friend. 'Nuff said.

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History Worth Knowing

 

 

July 27, 2015

This intrepid blogger has a personal policy: politics stay off this page. There is enough elephant-and-donkey chatter clogging up cyberspace to fill a library the size of Texas without adding one more voice to the noise. That said, history is a different matter entirely, and today happens to be the anniversary of something worth knowing about. On July 27, 1804, the 12th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. If that draws a blank, this blogger is not judging — much. Here is the short version: before the 12th Amendment, every member of the Electoral College cast two votes for president. The candidate with the most votes became president; the runner-up became vice president. As one might imagine, that arrangement produced some spectacularly awkward working relationships. The 12th Amendment fixed it by requiring electors to cast separate votes for president and vice president. Tidy. Sensible. Long overdue.

Now on to the gossip — but first, a small detour into speculative history, because this blogger cannot resist. Imagine, just for a moment, if the old system had still been in place in 1960. Richard Nixon as vice president under John F. Kennedy. This blogger will give Millerites a moment to let that particular what-if settle. The mind boggles. It also raises a question that feels surprisingly relevant: would today's candidates tone down the mud-slinging if they knew they might end up sharing an office suite with their rival? Something to chew on. DT down at the water office reportedly has no pool running on this one — some questions, even she won't touch. Now, on to the actual Miller gossip...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

The Founding Fathers were not perfect — history is clear enough on that — but every now and then they got something exactly right. The 12th Amendment is one of those times. This blogger is grateful for the foresight of people who thought carefully about what they were building. May God bless America — and may Millerites remember that knowing your history is never a waste of a good Monday morning. 'Nuff said.

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Edison Had a Point

July 20, 2015

This intrepid blogger made a rather costly mistake recently. No names, no details — moving on. In an effort to feel less like a complete nitwit, a little research turned up something genuinely encouraging: some of the greatest inventions in human history were flat-out accidents. The Kellogg brothers invented corn flakes trying to create a food that would decrease certain urges — this blogger will let the reader Google that particular rabbit hole. Coca-Cola began as a headache remedy, which is ironic given that skipping your morning cup is now the leading cause of headaches in the free world. Post-it Notes happened because Spencer Silver was trying to make a stronger adhesive and failed spectacularly. Penicillin, the microwave oven, chocolate chip cookies, the Slinky, and vulcanized rubber — a mistake Goodyear has never tired of — all made the list. As did the little blue pill, which was originally intended to treat heart conditions. Apparently the experiment went a little south. This blogger will leave it right there.

Mrs. Hooley, who is as much an institution in Miller as the Double D and the Dairy Squeeze, always said mistakes teach you valuable lessons. Turns out she knew exactly what she was talking about. Edison put it this way: you learn more from mistakes and failures than from success. This blogger would add — sometimes you also earn more. Now, on to the Miller gossip...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

The moral of the story, Millerites, is this: do not be too hard on yourself when things go sideways. The next great accidental invention might be sitting right there in the mess you made. Clean it up, write it down, and call your patent attorney. 'Nuff said.

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Monday Called. It Wants a Second Chance.

July 13, 2015

Here is a fun fact for a Monday: the concept of the Monday blues is largely a media invention. This intrepid blogger recently counted no fewer than a dozen popular songs built entirely around the idea that life only begins on Friday afternoon. The Bangles told us to walk like an Egyptian on a manic Monday. The Boomtown Rats announced they don't like Mondays — and that song came out in 1979 and has been doing damage ever since. Somewhere between the radio and the alarm clock, a generation or two got thoroughly convinced that five out of seven days are just something to endure. Experts will tell you the root of the Monday blues is career dissatisfaction, and that may be true in some cases. But this blogger suspects the real culprit is a habit of thought that has been reinforced so many times it feels like fact.

Now on to the gossip, and what better day to dish than a Monday...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

Here is the fix, and it is simpler than you might think. Find one thing you genuinely love and schedule it for Monday. Not Tuesday. Not Friday. Monday. Put it on the calendar, set a reminder, and when the alarm goes off Sunday night, lead with that thought. This blogger cannot promise it will cure everything, but it is a solid start. Harry S. Truman once observed that it is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. For this blogger, the sense of having done something worthwhile goes a long way toward keeping the blues at bay — any day of the week. 'Nuff said.

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A Little Bit of Miller in H-town

ALittleBitofMiller@bloggingmylifeaway.com

Winning drawing from MCMS art contest: The Best of Miller, Texas
  Congratulations, Randy Rollins

January 19, 2015

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day.  Don’t forget to hit your knees today and say thanks for the man who sacrificed his life for the betterment of mankind. In honor of his memory today, everyone should do one kind deed for someone else.  Stand up, and do the right thing.  It is one our freedoms, we just don’t exercise it often enough, consequently, it gets a little out of shape.  So, how about it, give a little kindness to say thanks to a great man.

On to new frontiers:  It’s about to happen.  The New Double D Roadhouse Houston will have its Grand Opening January 23, 2015.  Those neon signs that have become an iconic symbol of our little town will soon make a debut in one of our largest cities.  Don’t you wish you could be there when they flip the switch and turn on the lights for the first time?  A little bit of Miller in H-town.  Who'd ever thunk it, certainly not this intrepid blogger.    

I don’t know about the rest of you Millerites, but I having a feeling that love is zinging in the air, and it isn't because there are hearts everywhere.  Could anything l

ess than love convince Mr. DD himself to consider moving from Miller?  Can’t say too much.  Don’t want to ruin the surprise.  You know who will get cranky if the cat gets out of the bag too early.  I’m just guessing, but it is my heartfelt opinion, that Miller is fixing to lose another one of its bachelors.  Sorry ladies, but you know the saying—All the best ones are either married or____!  You can fill in the blank yourself.  No controversies here in Miller.

Meanwhile, could we get a little snow down here?  It’s winter.  They had fourteen inches in the Detroit area last week, and the forecasters are calling for more snow this week. Sheesh!  Not one snowflake fell in Miller.  Our kids like to build snowmen to, so don’t hog up all the snow, you crazy northerners.  Still, you less than same Texans, you should remember to bundle up, because despite the really, pretty weather today, it is winter, and when the sun goes down, it gets preetee cold.  Nuff said. 

One final word.  Congratulations to Randy Rollins, a seventh grader at the MC Middle School.  His computer sketch of Eaton and Eaton Insurance and Investments was the winner of the Chamber of Commerce's annual The Best of Miller, Texas Art Contest.  Randy is the son or Betty Truman  and Samuel Rollins.

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@the Double D series  Book 2: Kiss Me Stupid

Anniversaries That Matter

 ALittleBitofMiller@theDoubleD.bloggingmylifeaway

December 1, 2014

December 1st is an interesting date for a number of reasons, but the one that caught this blogger's attention this morning is that today is the anniversary of the 1955 arrest of Rosa Parks in Montgomery, Alabama. Now, every Millerite with a pulse knows that Rosa Parks refused to give up her seat on a bus. What fewer people know is that she was not the first person to refuse. Nine months earlier, fifteen-year-old Claudette Colvin did exactly the same thing on exactly the same bus route and was arrested for it. Claudette Colvin's name is rarely mentioned, but without her act of courage, the wheels of the Montgomery Bus Boycott might never have started turning. History tends to remember the person who crosses the finish line. It does not always remember the ones who cleared the path. Something to think about on a Monday in December.

Now then. The holiday season is officially upon us, and Miller is doing what Miller does best — decking every available surface with lights, wreaths, and an enthusiasm for Christmas that would make the Grinch reconsider his life choices. Chef M's cranberry pecan pie has reappeared on the Double D menu, which is reason enough to make the drive out to the roadhouse. This blogger will not be held responsible for what happens when you taste it. Consider that your official warning.

As for the Miller romance report, things remain in a holding pattern, though a holding pattern at this altitude is still considerably more interesting than most towns can manage on their best day. BND El Segundo (BND ES) continues his work in Houston, making brief appearances in Miller that are reported to this blogger with the speed and enthusiasm typically reserved for UFO sightings. He looks well. He says little. He heads back south. BND Numero Uno (BND #1) has made himself a very visible fixture at GND #3's Sunday pew, which Millerites have noticed and are choosing to interpret optimistically. Whether optimism is warranted remains to be seen, but DT at the water office has not closed the pool, and that alone speaks volumes. Meanwhile, the new carpenter at Junkalicious — a quiet, competent fellow who keeps his head down and his work quality up — appears to have settled in for the long haul. GND #5 has been seen at Junkalicious more regularly this past week than in the weeks prior, which may simply be a function of year-end accounting. Or it may not be. 

This blogger is watching. 'Nuff said.

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@the Double D Series: Kiss Me Cross-Eyed

Laika, From Street Dog to Astronaut

 ALittleBitofMiller@theDoubleD.bloggingmylifeaway

November 3, 2014

November 3rd marks the anniversary of the day in 1957 that Laika the dog became the first living creature to orbit the Earth aboard the Soviet satellite Sputnik 2. Now, before anyone gets too misty-eyed, this blogger will point out that Laika was a stray found on the streets of Moscow, which means the Soviets did her the favor of getting her off the streets and giving her a historic role in the space race. Whether Laika herself would have agreed that it was a favor is a matter of some debate. The point, if there is one — and this blogger always tries to have one — is that sometimes the universe launches you into orbit before you are entirely ready, and there is nothing left to do but ride it out and trust the trajectory. Something to think about on a Monday morning. You're welcome.

On to Miller business. BND El Segundo (BND ES) remains in Houston, doing highly skilled and reportedly excellent work on MOS's new restaurant project in Katy. Word among those who have spoken to him is that he is heads-down, hands-busy, and not in any particular hurry to discuss his personal life. This surprises absolutely no one. Meanwhile, the new carpenter at Junkalicious has settled in quietly. No drama to report there, which is either a good sign or a dull one, depending on your disposition. GND #5 has been spotted going about her business at EEFS on Black Avenue with the focused energy of a woman who has decided that keeping busy is the wisest possible policy. This blogger respects that policy. The Risen One (RO) has been notably less visible around town this week, which may simply mean his social calendar has shifted. Or it may mean something else entirely. This blogger declines to speculate. What this blogger will say is that the temperature at Junkalicious remains a few degrees below comfortable, and DT at the water office has reportedly extended her pool deadline by two weeks, citing insufficient data. 

When DT extends a deadline, Millerites, pay attention. It means even she doesn't know which way the wind is blowing. And DT always knows which way the wind is blowing. 'Nuff said.

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@the Double D Series: Kiss Me Cross-Eyed