Sunday, August 2, 2015

68 Feet, 9 Inches — and Counting

August 3, 2015

Hold onto your seeds, Millerites, because this intrepid blogger has a fun fact that is going to make a certain someone in our little berg feel a whole lot less impressive. The Guinness World Record for watermelon seed spitting belongs to one Lee Wheelis of Luling, Texas — home of the Watermelon Thump Festival — who launched a seed a whopping 68 feet, 9 and 1/8 inches in 1989. That is not a misprint. Nearly 69 feet. For those keeping score at home, that is longer than most of us can throw a baseball. Luling is a fur piece from Miller, but apparently not far enough, because the bragging rights around these parts just got a little complicated. In other breaking news, today, August 3rd, happens to be National Watermelon Day. And yes, before anyone asks, the watermelon is technically a berry, not a melon. This blogger will pause while that sinks in.

Now on to the gossip. Miller is gearing up for the annual Seed Spitting Contest, and this year's presiding judge is none other than John Wayne Eaton — stepping in on account of the fact that Jessie Adair is still in Belize.

The event is open to all ages and divided into six divisions: 0–6, 7–11, 12–16, Women 16+, Men 16+, and Seniors (60+). The Spitway will be laid out on a 15x60 concrete surface. This blogger hears that DT over at the water office has already started a pool on which division produces the upset of the year. This blogger's money is on the 0–6 crowd. Never underestimate a determined six-year-old with a mouthful of seeds and something to prove. A word to the wise: the wind has a vote. If it's blowing, the contest moves. Where the seed ends up is what counts — not where it lands. Rules 1–9 follow Pardeeville's established guidelines, and the seed is free to roll, bounce, scoot, spin, skip, or flip as far as it pleases.

Summer in East Texas is a serious business. Stay hydrated, wear your hat, and for the love of all things holy, do not leave your dog in a hot car. Not even for a minute. Not even with the windows cracked. If you wouldn't sit in a closed car in August heat in your fur coat, neither should your four-legged best friend. 'Nuff said.

#SpitItMiller #LeeWheelisIsOurHero #NationalWatermelonDay #BerryNotMelon #DTHasAPoolOnEverything #SummerInThePineyWoods

Monday, July 27, 2015

History Worth Knowing

July 27, 2015

This intrepid blogger has a personal policy: politics stay off this page. There is enough elephant-and-donkey chatter clogging up cyberspace to fill a library the size of Texas without adding one more voice to the noise. That said, history is a different matter entirely, and today happens to be the anniversary of something worth knowing about. On July 27, 1804, the 12th Amendment to the United States Constitution was ratified. If that draws a blank, this blogger is not judging — much. Here is the short version: before the 12th Amendment, every member of the Electoral College cast two votes for president. The candidate with the most votes became president; the runner-up became vice president. As one might imagine, that arrangement produced some spectacularly awkward working relationships. The 12th Amendment fixed it by requiring electors to cast separate votes for president and vice president. Tidy. Sensible. Long overdue.

Now on to the gossip — but first, a small detour into speculative history, because this blogger cannot resist. Imagine, just for a moment, if the old system had still been in place in 1960. Richard Nixon as vice president under John F. Kennedy. This blogger will give Millerites a moment to let that particular what-if settle. The mind boggles. It also raises a question that feels surprisingly relevant: would today's candidates tone down the mud-slinging if they knew they might end up sharing an office suite with their rival? Something to chew on. DT down at the water office reportedly has no pool running on this one — some questions, even she won't touch. Now, on to the actual Miller gossip...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

The Founding Fathers were not perfect — history is clear enough on that — but every now and then they got something exactly right. The 12th Amendment is one of those times. This blogger is grateful for the foresight of people who thought carefully about what they were building. May God bless America — and may Millerites remember that knowing your history is never a waste of a good Monday morning. 'Nuff said.

#12thAmendmentDay #WhatIfHistory #NixonAndKennedyInTheSameOffice #DTWontTouchThisOne #MillerTexasKnowsHistory #GodBlessAmerica

Monday, July 20, 2015

Edison Had a Point

July 20, 2015

This intrepid blogger made a rather costly mistake recently. No names, no details — moving on. In an effort to feel less like a complete nitwit, a little research turned up something genuinely encouraging: some of the greatest inventions in human history were flat-out accidents. The Kellogg brothers invented corn flakes trying to create a food that would decrease certain urges — this blogger will let the reader Google that particular rabbit hole. Coca-Cola began as a headache remedy, which is ironic given that skipping your morning cup is now the leading cause of headaches in the free world. Post-it Notes happened because Spencer Silver was trying to make a stronger adhesive and failed spectacularly. Penicillin, the microwave oven, chocolate chip cookies, the Slinky, and vulcanized rubber — a mistake Goodyear has never tired of — all made the list. As did the little blue pill, which was originally intended to treat heart conditions. Apparently the experiment went a little south. This blogger will leave it right there.

Mrs. Hooley, who is as much an institution in Miller as the Double D and the Dairy Squeeze, always said mistakes teach you valuable lessons. Turns out she knew exactly what she was talking about. Edison put it this way: you learn more from mistakes and failures than from success. This blogger would add — sometimes you also earn more. Now, on to the Miller gossip...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

The moral of the story, Millerites, is this: do not be too hard on yourself when things go sideways. The next great accidental invention might be sitting right there in the mess you made. Clean it up, write it down, and call your patent attorney. 'Nuff said.

#HappyAccidents #MrsHooleyWasRight #CornFlakesWereAMistake #DontGoogleThat #MillerTexasGetsPhilosophical #NitwitsUnite

Monday, July 13, 2015

Monday Called. It Wants a Second Chance.

July 13, 2015

Here is a fun fact for a Monday: the concept of the Monday blues is largely a media invention. This intrepid blogger recently counted no fewer than a dozen popular songs built entirely around the idea that life only begins on Friday afternoon. The Bangles told us to walk like an Egyptian on a manic Monday. The Boomtown Rats announced they don't like Mondays — and that song came out in 1979 and has been doing damage ever since. Somewhere between the radio and the alarm clock, a generation or two got thoroughly convinced that five out of seven days are just something to endure. Experts will tell you the root of the Monday blues is career dissatisfaction, and that may be true in some cases. But this blogger suspects the real culprit is a habit of thought that has been reinforced so many times it feels like fact.

Now on to the gossip, and what better day to dish than a Monday...

[Gossip section to be added when placed in a book.]

Here is the fix, and it is simpler than you might think. Find one thing you genuinely love and schedule it for Monday. Not Tuesday. Not Friday. Monday. Put it on the calendar, set a reminder, and when the alarm goes off Sunday night, lead with that thought. This blogger cannot promise it will cure everything, but it is a solid start. Harry S. Truman once observed that it is amazing what you can accomplish if you do not care who gets the credit. For this blogger, the sense of having done something worthwhile goes a long way toward keeping the blues at bay — any day of the week. 'Nuff said.

#MondayBluesCure #TrumanKnewThings #LiveForMoreThanFriday #MillerTexasGetsPhilosophical #TheBoomtownRatsDidTheDamage #ReprogramYourMonday

Monday, May 4, 2015

CC said YES!

ALittleBitofMiller@theDoubleD.bloggingmylifeaway

May 4, 2015

Well, would you lookey, lookey here. Houston’s largest paper’s food editor featured the Double D Roadhouse Houston in the Sunday edition. The largest newspaper in Texas. That’s a pretty big deal and well worth mentioning. The people of Houston are really digging the down-home cuisine of our own Chef M. Not that that’s so surprising really, good food is good food no matter what city you are in. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know that the roadhouse is technically in Katy, but it’s close enough to Houston for the Big H to claim it. The motel will be open for business on Labor Day weekend. Check out the Double D website for pictures. It’s pretty amazing. Guess it’s obvious that this intrepid blogger is a die-hard fan of the Double D. And no, Bruce Willis isn’t the one writing this blog.

Speaking of our own, if you haven’t heard, our own man of steel (MOS) finally got around to proposing, not that this intrepid blogger is surprised that he did. But what you might not know is that he proposed in the middle of a CVS parking lot. A CVS parking lot. Really? Son, Hallmark spends millions trying to convince people romance lives in flower gardens and candlelight, and you picked a patch of cracked asphalt to get down on one knee. I know your momma raised him better! If you want to see MOS at his finest, google it. Kai Turner featured it on his YouTube channel. So far it has had more than a million views. The comments are hilarious! Rumor has it that BB plans to include it in the wedding. Back at home, Miller is getting ready for The Taste of Miller. Forty-two chefs from around the country are coming to our little fly speck of a town to try and dethrone Chef M. This blogger plans to be there cheering for our hometown boy. Will you?

Meanwhile, what happened to spring? Is it just me, or does it seem like we skipped straight from a not-so-cold winter, well, except for that week at the end of February, to the wettest spring on record? It’s April for crying out loud. Yeah, yeah, yeah. April in Texas. It is the month for showers. So, what’s your point?

Don’t forget to check out the snapdragons in front of the Double D Roadhouse and Motor Court Lodge. They are spectacular this year, but aren’t they always.

Oh BTW—she said YES, so wedding bells once again will be ringing in Miller. When is the wedding? No wedding pool this time. According to MOS, July 17^this the day, a year to the day after the BB walked into the Double D. Guess I owe our MOS an apology. Turns out the boy had a little romance tucked away after all. ‘Nuff said.

Until next time,

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#ALittleBitOfMiller

@ the Double D series Book 2; Kiss Me Stupid

Monday, January 19, 2015

A Little Bit of Miller in H-town

ALittleBitofMiller@bloggingmylifeaway.com

January 19, 2015

Martin Luther King, Jr. Day. Don't forget to hit your knees today and thank the Lord for a man who stood for what was right, even when it cost him everything. In honor of his memory today, everyone should do one kind deed for someone else. Stand up and do the right thing. It is one of our freedoms, we just don’t exercise it often enough, consequently, it gets a little out of shape. So, how about it, give a little kindness to say thanks to a great man.

On to new frontiers: It’s about to happen. The New Double D Roadhouse Katy will have its Grand Opening January 23, 2015. Those neon signs that have become an iconic symbol of our little town will soon make a debut in one of our largest cities. Don’t you wish you could be there when they flip the switch and turn on the lights for the first time? A little bit of Miller in H-town. Who'd ever thunk it, certainly not this intrepid blogger.

I don’t know about the rest of you Millerites, but I have a feeling that love is zinging in the air, and it isn’t because there are red hearts everywhere. Could anything less than love convince our own man of steel (MOS) himself to consider moving from Miller? Can’t say too much. Don’t want to ruin the surprise. You know who will get cranky if the cat gets out of the bag too early. Just a guess, but it is this blogger’s heartfelt opinion, that Miller is fixing to lose another one of its bachelors. Sorry ladies, but you know the saying—All the best ones are…! You can fill in the blanks yourself. No controversies here in Miller. Speaking of controversies, the bouquet that arrived at the Double D this morning, quite lovely by the way, came with a card that said—Roses are red, Your eyes are blue, Day after tomorrow, I’ll see you. Hallmark has nothing to fear, but it gets points for romance, in this blogger’s humble opinion. Millerites have gotten mighty fond of those Monday flowers. Reckon the crowd at the Double D is going to miss seeing them now that certain folks no longer have to abide by the “friends only” clause of their relationship. Girl next door #3 returned from H-Town recently and reports that the new roadhouse is every bit as wonderful as the old one. High praise from the former reality star.

Meanwhile, could we get a little snow down here? It’s winter! They had fourteen inches in the Detroit area last week, and the forecasters are calling for more snow this week. Sheesh! Not one snowflake fell in Miller. Our kids like to build snowmen too, so don’t hog up all the snow, leave us a few flakes, you crazy northerners. Still, you less than sane Texans, you should remember to bundle up, because despite the really pretty weather today, it is winter and when the sun goes down, it gets purdee cold. ‘Nuff said.

One final word. Congratulations to Randy Rollins, a seventh grader at the MC Middle School. His computer sketch of Eaton and Eaton Insurance and Investments was the winner of the Chamber of Commerce's annual The Best of Miller, Texas Art Contest. Randy is the son of Betty Truman and Samuel Rollins.

Until next time,

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#playingitclosetothevest

#thebestofMiller

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#bachelornotmore

#letitsnowinMiller

#ALittleBitOfMiller

@the Double D series Book 2: Kiss Me Stupid

Saturday, January 10, 2015

No hearts and flowers, if you please.

ALittleBitofMiller@theDoubleD.bloggingmylifeaway

Winning drawing from MCMS art contest: The Best of Miller, Texas
Congratulations Mikey Vines

January 10, 2015

It seems that the New Year always brings out the romantic side of people. Resolutions. The wish to be a better person. Being grateful for all the blessing of the past year. Appreciating the SO in your life, or wishing for a special someone to come along and sweep you off your feet. Old man winter is settling into his element, stirring up the north winds and sending them streaking across the Canadian border. If you live up north that means snow and subzero temperatures. Brrrr! I mean 9 degrees, if that isn't the perfect excuse to canoodle, then I don't know what it. Still, in Texas, the temps don't dip that low more than once in a blue, blue, blue winter moon. No, Texans are just normally kind of romantic. How else do you account for the swagger? Which leads this blogger to the point--what's with all the Valentine's? Surely, retailers could take a brief break between holidays. Let people enjoy these few weeks of snuggling up with their honeys before the stores bombard the world with Valentine's Day displays. It is like the minute the bubbly pops at midnight on the thirty-first, bang! Hearts and flowers explode. Everywhere you look, from the grocery stores to the ads on the internet, sappy red hearts abound. Makes a body weary, and take the romance right out of the season, if you ask this blogger's opinion, which maybe you did, since you are reading this post. Ironically, all this pre-advertising doesn't seem to help. If you don't agree, just visit a lingerie store, florist, or candy shop on February 14th. The lines are longer than any other day of the year.

Yikes! See? Even this blog has been infected with hearts and flowers.

Moving on, to a slightly less prosaic, but oddly related note --there are no new romances to report on in our little berg. Millerites seem to be laying low because of the cold front that blew through bringing cold rain and even some sleet. There were some reports of visitors to Miller that are of special interest. Remember the feisty little red head that flew in for the A-B wedding. She was seen at the Double D this past weekend, enjoying some of Chef M's delicious catfish with her good pal and former roommate. A certain dude transplanted from New York was also there. His former flame, the science teacher, showed up at the roadhouse to dine, as well. For a few moments, it looked like there might be a fracas worthy of the old nighttime soap, Dallas. Alas, the dude and the redhead from New York (RHFNY) went their separate ways, and the lady who got her heart broken spent her night at the bar keeping company with a hunky blond. The E 5s were also at the roadhouse, celebrating a family birthday. What a spunky group those five are! Don't fret, this intrepid blogger will keep an ear to ground. Should a new romance bloom, or a herd of stampeding buffalo head this way, you can read about it right here.

Meanwhile, don't forget that a hoodie and a toboggan are not really adequate for temperatures in the thirties. If you are out and about, wear a real coat, for Pete's sake and be sure to keep a blanket or two in your car. Being stranded on the side of the road in the dead of winter, even in Texas, could be uncomfortable. Stupidity causes more deaths in our country than any thing else. Nuff said.

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Double D series--Book 14: Midnight Kiss