Monday, October 13, 2014

What's a Phobia or Two Among Friends?

Winning drawing from MCMS art contest: The Best of Miller, Texas
  Congratulations Mikey Vines


October 13, 2014
Here is an amazing bit of reality.  Most elementary students don’t know what Columbus Day is.  How can that be?  Don’t they teach that poem in school anymore? You know the one:

In fourteen hundred and ninety-two,
Columbus sailed the ocean blue,Looking for land and riches, too,As over the waters he flew.Hello, India! Oh,no! Boo hoo hoo!It is the Americas one and twoOh well, Columbus, we still thank you.

Okay, this intrepid blogger wrote those last lines, but someone needed to. How do today’s kids not know the history of Columbus’ voyages, and what they mean to our country? Forget PC stuff. It’s okay that he wasn't the first man to set foot on western shores. It’s okay, well not really, but we can’t change his nature at this late date, so it’s okay that he wasn't the greatest role model. He was cruel. Heartless even. Sort of puffed up and thinking a little bit too much of himself, but he had just discovered America, the future land of the free and home of the brave. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Don’t waste your time trying to fill in all the holes in that little scenario. Suffice it say that when October 12th rolls around, old Chris needs to be mentioned in our classrooms. Argue it however you want, but teach it as if it is history. Oh wait, it is the history of the Americas. End of rant.

With that out of the way, it has come to the attention of this ever vigilant blogger through the grapevine that our local family feud is alive and really starting to heat up and spill over.  It is a little confusing to keep up with the BNDs and the GNDs, but if the gossip is on the money--it is a 50/50 shot that it is correct, so cautionary warning:  gossip is always best taken with a grain of salt—Whew!  Where was I?  Oh yeah, BND Numero Uno seems to have developed that dreaded if little known phobia, Agyrophobia, which is the fear of streets or crossing the street.  He no longer gets out of the car when picking up the number one lady in his life.  Don’t worry, BND El Segundo has his own phobia, Venustraphobia. Want to know what that one is, look it up. GND 5 was seen hanging out with the risen one, while GND 3 has been out of sight, but not out of mind.  The FBQ says business at TFS has never been better.

Meanwhile, unpack your sweaters.  Looks likes Miller is about to have its first cold front of the year.   Temps are expected to dip into the 30s.  Don’t throw your mothballs out just yet, everyone in Texas knows that by Wednesday week, it will be up in the eighties again.

Okay, but just because you asked—Venustraphobia is the fear of beautiful women.  For what reaches this blogger’s ever listening ears, BND El Segundo should be afraid.

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@ Double D series, Book 3: Kiss Me Cross-Eyed

FBQ = former beauty queen
TFS = The Filling Station
GND = girl next door
BND = boy next door

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